Tuesday, May 02, 2006
hehe, norahS, today i went study wid xiao xin leh... well, was feeling better when talking to her... i somehow feel enlighten... why? i also dunno how come... but it's true... i somehow thinking of the past even more when i'm with her... haiz... and if it dident happen, we wound still be together... haiz... it's still my fault.... all my fault... now i'm thinking of her when i have nothing to do, thinking of her even when i am playing game... it's comeing back le... how norahS? what should i do to help myself? what do i want? haiz... it's true what i want is my dream... but... i know it wound nv happen or i should say, it will never happen anymore... i guess, i guess, i guess... let me rest... but how long can i stay like that? i guess, i guess, i guess... let her not be reminded of me... how can it be? haiz... yes... i want to be wid her... but i new it wound nv happen... should i? just forget her? haiz... i dun want... after all this trouble... just remeber her bah... for the time being... let her forget me first... Xiao xin... i really cause you much pain... so i will have to bare the same or best more amount of pain... for all i have done to other people... this is the time that DaRkL0rD slowly turn to darkness... seal me up and dun let me out... after the concert... i think i will seal myself up... so now... i want to see her... just the last few times... before the concert... i dunno will it happen anot... but i dun wish too also... haiz... i also dunno what i wanna do... just seal myself up and let time cure me... hopefully it will... let time heal her too... i just wished i wound be a catalyst to heal her... but i'm just... a poison... instead if healing her, i hurt her again... she once said she rather get hurt by other people then me... so i guess i would just seal myself up... haiz... to my own darkness...
i learnt something too, a happy relationship doesent means it's a good one...
^_^ i love me! ^_^
