Sunday, April 30, 2006
Today have been a hard day for me... i'm being left alone on my own... this means i started thinking... Sharon is staying in a snowy world now, i guess... wherelse me staying in my own darkness world... haiz... her world... i'm so scared norahS... it's so dark around me, so cold... no light... no colours... sometimes, i'm really terrified... but that how the way it should be...
be hate then to hate.
be hurt then to hurt.
this two things is what i want... is it so hard to get??? sob! i want to cry wid someone... i just feel like crying wid someone... i want to talk to someone also... but who? i dun have anyone to accompany me... if not, i will explode with thoughts and boooom!!! wahaha. break down? haha. who knows.
i ask my self why must i toture my self? i coulden answer... i guess i've done too much wrong things... but what is right and what is wrong? to me when i feel that it's right means it's right... but people might think that both ways, i'm still wrong... sometimes what i like to eat viniger so much is because i dun want to feel it. i rather taste it... sob... but my doing... made people eat it... haiz... i'm sooo bad...
I have so many flaws... then good stuff... i'm starting to hate myself... haiz... no longer love myself le... i cant even trust myself... so i come out wats to toture myself WAHAHA!!!
when i wake up, normally i will be alright. so at night i read my stuff and get sob again. HAHA. next, keep thinking... then got sad again... sob sob... i want to punish myself... cos i'm sooo bad... i so i will change... bad boi must punish... sob sob... bad doggie also... sob sob... so from now one, i promise i will be good... ok??? hmph norahS also dun belive me... SOB!
^_^ i love me! ^_^
